One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends, " I replied.
"What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma " And they say blondes are dumb... ----------------------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.
" The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." ----------------------------------------------------------- "It's just too hot to wear clothes today, " Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money, " she replied. ----------------------------------------------------------- He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea.. you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
----------------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ----------------------------------------------------------- A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airlinecruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! ----------------------------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man Love to forgive him And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. ----------------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. ----------------------------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ----------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. ----------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals" ----------------------------------------------------------- |
