Have you ever had a booty call that turned into a unsightly relationship well here's the solution....
THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT This pre-booty call agreement hereinafter referred to herein as the "Agreement" is entered into as of the day of , 2004 by and between & . THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES.
1.
No sleeping over- UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO REPEAT IT IN THE MORNIN' 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3.
No calls before 9p.m.- we dont have shit to talk about 4.
None of that "Lovemakin" shit, strictly mind blowing-sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions. ie: Where are we headed wthis? Do you love me-Hell Nooooo, so don't ask stupid questions 6. No plans made in advance...
thats why you call the "Back-up" unless you are from out of town, then its only a one time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts excepted- money, and diamonds are always good 8. No Baby talk, however, dirty talk is encouraged 9. No asking for Comparisons with former Lovers its really none of your Dayum business 10.
No kissing too intimate except to other body parts - no mouth kissin' yuck 11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" we are not friends, just sex buddies 12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is O.K.- don't be offended.
13.
No extra clothing I dont want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave 14. No falling asleep right after Sex, Get your ass up and GO HOME, It's OVER dam it.
15.
Dont be offended if I dont ask if you Enjoyed it. I DONT CARE .
16. You can not borrow my car for any reason. 17.
If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, "My roommates girlfriendboyfriend." 18. Doggie style preferred just hit It hard and right or get the Hell OUT 19. Reason for doggie style. the less eye contact the better. dont want to look at your ass, just want to f**k you .
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes.- ME!. so dont keep calling DAM IT!! 21. The most important one: NO CONDOMS, NO F**KIN', carry your ASS HOME.!! 22. Bring your own Drink- I am not your LIQUOR STORE!!!! 23. No phone use please - dont want anyone calling back looking for your ass!! EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS, The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, this Agreement will automatically become NULL & VOID. And you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST, and deleted from phone memory and email list.
BLOCKED from all communications until your SILLY ASS UNDERSTANDS THE RULES.
Participating Party Signature Date: Participating Party Signature Date: |
