Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers : WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an a*****e. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN !!! WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may make your think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary whose species and or name you can't remember. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small and sometimes large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING : The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. |
