A new couple went out for a drive one Sunday afternoon.
While chatting and giddy with new found love and affection, enjoying the scenic country side and simply being together, the young man felt the pending need to fart.
Horrified at the prospect of farting in a vehicle with his new sweetheart, he quietly resolved to hang on until he could reach an appropriate pull-out where the they could leave the car for a bit, an he could tactfully relieve the pressure without her knowing. As he increased his speed to try and reach a picnic area, located just over an old wooden bridge, his forehead started to bead with sweat. With the pressure building, and becoming painful, mild panic started to overcome him. "Oh God, I just can't fart in this car with her. We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, and she's an angel.", he thought to himself. As the pressure turned to real pain, an idea came to him. "It's only a quarter mile or so, from that old wooden bridge to the picnic area. If I hit the bridge at speed, it will really creak and rattle, and I can sneak a little one out, as the bridge noise covers up any sound. Then we'll reach the picnic area and can out before she smells anything...
", he thought. The young man roared down the hill toward the bridge, squirming in his seat and trying to hang on. "Oh, I think I'm going to make it...
Oh, it's really hurting now...Oh god, please let me make it, Oh lord, I'm not going to make it!" Just seconds before hitting the bridge a huge blast of foul smelling flatulence erupted.
The noise was unmistakable. The odor, unbearable. His horror, immeasurable. In a panic and desperate to escape the situation, he asked his new girl, in the most cool, calm and casual tone he could muster, "So, have you seen the paper today? "Nope, but if you want to pull off at this picnic area, I'll get out of the car and see if I can find you a handful of leaves so you can wipe your ass." |
