You offended my young daughter, when you flashed your third-grade weener. So here now is your Christmas gift: "Junior Edition Subpoena" You won't find any presents 'neath the tree on Christmas morn. 'Cause Santa knows who's good and bad, and who's downloading porn.
We're sick of your tantrums and endless teasin'. You ignore ev'ry word we say. So while other kids get new toys this season, we've sold all of yours on Ebay. I've checked my list twice, you have not been fine. And so you'll get a lump of coal, where the sun don't shine. Santa knows you hit the cat, he knows you hit the dog.
But now he's off to hit the head -- he's making your yule log.
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